TRIGGER ALERT:
THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS MENTIONS OF SELF HARM AND SUICIDE. IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH THINGS SUCH AS THIS PLEASE KNOW THAT I TRULY BELIEVE THAT THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE WITH YOU IN IN AND IF I CAN HELP IN ANYWAY, REACH OUT TO ME. YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND I CERTAINLY DON’T WANT YOU TO FEEL THAT YOU ARE.
Call, text, or chat 988 to speak to a trained crisis counselor offering support 24/7/365
allie@sportsarequeer.com
Please remember to be kind to everyone and everything you meet today, especially yourself.
Hockey legend Claude Lemeiux, dead at 60 from an apparent suicide.
I know others will talk about Lemeiux’s physical playing style and connect that to the possibility of CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy) contributing to his suicide, so I won’t. His family has now said that Lemeiux’s brain will be donated to Boston Universities CTE research center for study and hopefully it can add to science and create a greater understanding of the horrible, crippling effects of CTE.
NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman has stated many times that life in the NHL does not contribute to CTE. An example of Bettman’s statements on CTE, this one from May of 2015, “From a medical science standpoint, there is no evidence yet that one necessarily leads to the other…” when referring to head injuries leading to CTE.
“I know there are a lot of theories, but if you ask people who study it, they tell you there is no statistical correlation that can definitively make that conclusion.”
Whatever led to Lemieux’s suicide, the larger problem is the failure of society to recognize his struggles and to provide the assistance needed.
Darren McCarty, former Detroit Red Wing who had perhaps one of the most talked about on ice confrontations with Claude Lemieux summed it up on his YouTube account.
“Sad day: another brother gone. If you’re struggling out there, no matter what, just reach out for some help. It can never be that bad. It’s a sad day, no matter what. Rest in peace Claude.”
What I don’t like about that quote is putting the onus on the individual (Lemeiux in this case) who is struggling to “just reach out for some help.”
Personally, it has been sixteen years since my failed suicide attempt. I say failed but ultimately, as in all attempts, failure is a success because I am still here.
I’ll be honest, I am not still with the world because someone posted suicide hotline numbers on Facebook. I’m here because of active intervention, in my case, my children. For that reason, I have their names tattooed on my arms, one on each side to help me remember.
I am not a mental health expert, but I believe that fear is the number one factor contributing to suicide. Not the fear you are probably thinking of though. I think it is the fear of talking about the problem. I think it is the fear of reaching out to someone, putting yourself out there to help another human. Fear of helping.
The suicide issues in our country will only improve when we step out of the comfort zone and directly address the issues. People will posting the traditional things on Facebook that have suicide prevention numbers on them won’t be the solution because, in my opinion these posts place the onus on an individual who is struggling, something with crippling and debilitating thought to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, call a number and be rescued.
Don’t get me wrong, those numbers can be a godsend to individuals but in all honesty, the only reason someone is going to want to call them is because they want to live. Eunice posting the hotline numbers generically isn’t going to help if the person doesn’t feel a connection and is still feeling lost, lonely, and abandoned.
Even someone like Claude Lemiux, who on the outside appears to have it all. A great career to look back on, a loving family, a successful second career as an agent and hell, he was even honored by carrying the torch at the Bell Center before the Habs game three loses their way.
The ultimate solution is people who care. Plain and simple. Eradicating suicide will take a generation of individuals who will reach out to others. To make a solid connection to let people know that they do indeed care about the welfare of others. To show others that they are loved and needed.
Sometimes it can be as simple as a smile, sometimes it is sitting down, talking to people and taking an active interest in who they are and what is going on in their lives. Sometimes it is as simple as holding a hand, giving a hug, showing them they are loved. The point of the matter is though caring about your fellow human beings is what is going to change the world.
I still struggle with depression. In fact, I have been fighting a pretty good bout of loneliness for the past few weeks but people that care about me, check in on me, talk to me and even just give me a smile are keeping me going.
In the end, and this is an appropriate way for me to end this conversation here in Pride Month.
Love wins. It will always win and the more love we show, the better place the world will be.
Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States according to statistics from the Center for Disease Control. In 2024, there were over 2.2 million attempted suicides, and increase of 150% over 2023. These attempts resulted in 48,824 deaths. While that number is down slightly by 2% from the previous year.